Wow, it has been way too long since i've writen anything on my blog. I am no longer the depressed adolesent I once was. I've grown up to be a mature individual in my community. I have responsiblities and follow the law accordingly. LMAO

But seriously, I've been to college (tech school)... didnt go long enough for my tastes but I couldn't afford it. Hate my dead end job, looking for another...

Its been four years since my parents... it gets a little easier every year.... but i still miss her.... my baby cousin lives with us now and he tells me all the time that he sees her standing by my door.... he even knows her name and can tell u what she looks like. Its crazy.

Loving the man i'm with, wish we had a place of our own though.

I'm so depressed. Sunday is two years that my parents have been gone. I don't know if i'm ready for it. I'm still with my wonderful darling. It will be two years June 24, 2008. I plan on moving in with him when I turn 18. I doubt that my grandma will approve, but i'll be 18, let her stop me.

I miss my mom so much. Lately around the house it has been so stressful. My sister has been crying a lot. It makes me sad. But as far as I can tell she's doing okay, considering.

I wish I could just take all the pain away. From everybody. For everything. My parents, my best friend, everything.

What I miss most, is coming home from school and hearing my mom call me hot chick as I walk off the bus.

I really can't cry anymore. I just feel so numb. Like i feel like crying but it won't come out.

HEy everybody this your chick laura. I've been kinda depressed lately cause april is coming and my parents will have died 1 year ago come the 13th. Me and my man have now been together for 9 months and 6 days. We're doing so good, -sometimes. We've been having some trouble, but we always work it out. I love him so much, oh by the way we're not engaged. not yet anyways but we might as well be. WEll i got to go cuase i'm at school, i'll write back later. bye....*tear

Hey everyone, well i have some awesome news!!!!!! i'm engaged!!! how about dem apples? lol i love him so much that it hurts. He's the only thing i ever care about! He's the sweetest, kindest, funniest person i know and not to mention the naughtiest *growl*lol i love him to no end. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me! And i've had a shitty life so he means a lot. We're planning on getting married on June 26, 2009. It will be 3 years to the day since we first started dating! And i'll be 18! Well i'd love to say more but i have to get some shut eye! Laterz

Today was tacky day at school and well it's great cuz u get to wear wut ever you want anyways yeah they took my picture for the year book!!!!! yes!! i'm finally gonna be in it!!!! anyways yeah well it's only a little short blurb today. well love ya bye

Dead
I just want to die because I’m already dead inside
My body’s beginning to go numb with all this loss of blood
As the blade drops to the floor, out of grasp I think to myself:
“how come I waited so long to move on
From all the pain you cause?”
The pain that had already killed me.
Killed me slow but I didn’t know it. But all along I was dead.
Dead from all the neglect and abuse.
You caused me to have crazy thoughts, running through my head about the very thing I’ve just done
But in my thoughts it didn’t hurt this bad.
Now it’s getting dark and I’m getting cold, my skin is turning pale and my lips are blue.
I hate you so much, that’s why I wish you were here going through this pain. The pain you drove me to.
The pain that I will die from.
Now I’m getting stiff and the world is Dark and in my last breathe I just want to say:
“Fuck you for everything you did to me and others, hopefully someday, someone will drive you to what I am now
DEAD”

Today is a really weird day.Like it's the five year ann. of 9/11 so everyone is all sad plus a teacher (a new teacher) dies over the weekend from our school it was really sad. In a few days it will be the five month date of my parents death in April of this year. I just want to cry when i think about it. but yeah . I have a new boyfriend and he's pretty cool we haven't got to hang out really yet but we will(sometime). Hopefully wensday cuz i really want him to be around i NEED him to be around. I really do love him, but there is another guy that i sorta kinda like, and i've not only liked him longer but i've known him longer. yeah wut a mind teaser. this guy___ or this guy___ hum ?????? just a choice i'll have to make. But one that i dont want to have to make. I really like these guys and i dont want to hurt them. So i'll stay the way i am now and see from there. well that's all for now i guess cuz i'm at school and i dont know wut time the bell is going to ring so yeah. I'll post a poem when i get home. well laters ♥

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test